I was shamelessly scrolling through TikTok* recently when I came across a video on mental health – and specifically, suicidality.
It is a confronting topic, and part of me wanted to skip the video in search for more light-hearted content, but I paused to listen.
A young man stood in front of the camera, and he said this:
"Why is everyone looking to get out of this world when in all actuality we're here to experience something beautiful. But we're not able to see that because we're so caught up in darkness, and no one knows how to get out of it. Because we're never taught to. All we're taught is to take medicine and act like everything's okay. This needs to change. Change needs to happen. It NEEDS to happen."
It was a powerful message, but it wasn’t until I began reading the comments on the video that I found myself in a flurry of heart-breaking stories and also empowering, hopeful messages.
“We are taught to find love but not really to love ourselves. Loving ourselves is so underrated. When we love ourselves no one else matters. Everyone else that loves us is a bonus,” said one person.
Another said “I’ve always wanted to know why we say “depression runs in my family,” but you’ve never heard anyone say happiness does.”
“I don’t see a purpose to life, I feel trapped, suffocated, forgotten. Like I don’t matter and unmemorable...”
- TikTok user
I spent ages scrolling through and reading these comments. There were thousands.
It made me teary to read comments of people explaining why they had thoughts of suicide. Explaining why they had lost hope. Saying that no one cares about them. And I think for many of these people, social media might be the only place they’ve ever opened up about their feelings.
But it was incredibly uplifting to see the support people were giving to one another in the comments, just like this one below:
~ “Every sunset will end, every love will fade, and every friend will leave. So what's so beautiful about this world?”
~~“Just because something ends, doesn't mean it wasn't worthwhile in the first place. We're here to experience the whole range of human emotions, to learn and grow, be better than we were yesterday and bring joy/love/knowledge/creativity to the world, which makes it a better place for everyone.”
~“Thank you so much this really means a lot, what you have said opened my eyes...”
Photo by Finn on Unsplash.
We can all do something to support the mental wellbeing of others
Right now in this “Covid” world, I fear we will never really see the impact it has had on the mental health and wellbeing of those in our community.
We know that people are struggling, and we’ve seen this through the increase in demand for CatholicCare’s Emergency Relief service and the presenting issues for our counselling services.
People are lonely. Frustrated. Anxious. Many are experiencing increased relationship strain. Parents are losing their mind with kids at home 24/7 and kids themselves are struggling with all the many ways Covid restrictions have impacted their life.
As a prevention to suicide, and a prevention to mental illness, we need to be looking out for one another. There are thousands of people around us who are struggling right now, and unfortunately many of them may never open up about their internalised feelings or seek support. But if we can check in with our loved ones, our friends, and our neighbours to ask R U OK? we can take the first step in ensuring they get the support they need.
Taking the first step
It can be really difficult to ask someone if they are okay. It can be even more difficult to ask someone when you’re not feeling okay yourself. So, some things to consider before asking someone if they are okay are to:
Check in with yourself.
If you’re struggling with mental health issues or stress, seek help by talking to someone you trust or a professional. That way you can find the help you need AND discover how you can support others without detriment to your own wellbeing.
Prepare to ask.
If someone says they’re not okay, will you know what to say? What if they aren’t ready to talk? And what if they need professional help? Find these answers on the R U OK? website.
Pick a good time to chat.
If you’re going to ask someone R U OK? make sure that both you and the person have enough time to chat properly. You’ll also need to pick a moment to bring the question up. You may find that there is never a ‘right’ time, or you might choose a moment and then feel too anxious to ask, but remember it’s more important to ask than to worry about the minor things.
To learn how to ask someone R U OK? Check out these great tips on R U OK?’s website. For more in-depth tips and discussions, check out our articles below:
Liz Gellel | Communications Coordinator
*TikTok is a social network for sharing videos
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