Parenting comes with a whole bunch of ups and downs - sleepless nights, smiles and laughs, and those challenging questions (like “where do babies come from?”).
But the coronavirus threw a big hurdle to all parents, particularly those with dependent children, when the pandemic resulted in lifestyle changes for us all.
Despite having to worry about finances, work, chores, and keeping everyone fed, the added challenge of supervising distance learning and keeping the kids from bouncing off the walls can make things really difficult.
Self care for parents is essential, even more so in stressful times like these.
So mums, this Mother’s Day let’s look at how we can reduce the stress and increase happiness.
What makes you happy?
Have a think about it.
It might be something really simple, like something you experience in everyday life, or it might be something more elaborate like a trip to Hawaii (which isn't quite achievable right now, unfortunately).
If you’re struggling to find ways to put a smile on your dial, there is a basic activity you can do each day which is effective for reducing stress and increasing happiness.
It’s breathing. Yeap. You heard it.
When we think of activities that make us happy, breathing probably isn’t the first thing that springs to mind. But amazingly, neuroscience has found that we can actually use our breath to increase happiness in our lives.
Glen Schneider, in a book called “Ten Breaths”, offers a range of simple practices that help to ‘literally rewire our neural pathways to experience deeper and more lasting fulfilment and peace.’
How does breathing result in greater happiness?
From research into neuroscience, happiness has been shown to be far more than a great feeling that comes and goes. Happiness is wired into the physiology of our brains - but it is a skill we can all develop through practising mindfulness.
Studies also show that it takes about thirty seconds to build a new neural-pathway in the brain.
So, if we take ten breaths while savouring a positive experience, on a regular basis, we can slowly rewire our brains for happiness. This way, ‘patterns of happiness become habitual and deeply nourishing.’
Practising this simple exercise on a daily basis gives our brain an opportunity to move from its default reaction of protection to one of appreciation and openness.
When something delightful affects us, we can savour it by giving it ten full breaths. By paying close attention to these times, we become aware that opportunities for happiness present themselves many times every day.
Mums, follow these simple steps for the Ten Breaths exercise:
- First, stop whatever you are doing
- Close your eyes, place a hand on your belly and take three deep breaths to calm yourself
- Open your eyes and focus on the object/person/experience that has made you happy
- Stay focused on whatever has caught your attention as you ‘count with your body’; take ten slow breaths and if possible, rest both hands on your stomach. With each new breath, gently press and release one of your fingers in turn on your belly
- If you are still entranced by your special moment, repeat the ten breaths practice again
- Look for opportunities in your day to repeat this practice.
We should point out that this breathing exercise isn’t just great for mums - dads, carers, kids, teens… no matter who you are, using the Ten Breaths exercise can help you to increase happiness and reduce stress in your life.
So the next time you see, smell, hear or feel something wonderful, pause, and take ten slow breaths.
Some examples of situations you might give ten breaths to include:
- Witnessing a beautiful sunset
- Seeing your kids/grandkids smile or hearing them laugh
- Listening to your favourite song
- Smelling your favourite flower, candle or other scent
- The feeling of a soft pillow beneath your head after a long day
Because our breath is always available to us, we can use the ten breaths exercise at any time, or place, and with any positive experience to increase our happiness.
This Mother’s Day, take some time out for yourself to appreciate the little things in life. And think: what can I give ten breaths to today?
Communications Coordinator & Relationship Educator
Read more: