Every stepfamily is unique, and stepfamilies often have complex relationship structures.
Some stepfamilies will have multiple children from previous partners, as well as new children from current partnerships, not to mention a large array of extended family and grandparents!
Naturally, new and existing stepfamilies may also experience challenges or tension between relationships both in and out of the home.
So with National Stepfamily Day coming up at the end of July, we’ve spoken with Joy Strahle, Team Leader Dispute Resolution Services and Family Counsellor, to discuss how parents may navigate the complexities of stepfamilies.
Joy has worked in our Geelong Family Relationship Centre for 10 years supporting families through the stages of Post Separation Parenting.
“It's never an easy process for families, but when the parents can get the ground rules established with their partners, that can go a long way to helping work out how to move forward with their kids.”
So what do we mean by ground rules?
Ground rules can include setting clear boundaries, managing expectations, and discussing how your stepfamily will function within an environment of respectful, open communication.
“As a parent, what are you expecting from your partner? How are you expecting them to be with your children? Because it's the parent’s role to discipline them. It's the parent’s role to make major decisions about them, and it’s the partner’s role to be a support person to the children and to support you as a parent. It can be their role to be a friend to the children,” says Joy.
“However, the parents may need to discuss with their partner how it's going to impact their current household. If the partner also has children from a previous relationship, they may need to consider how they will all work together.”
Establishing ground rules/boundaries with your partner may help prevent assumptions from being made, and may help avoid further conflict and future challenges.
“One of the benefits in family mediation is being able to provide a forum for parents to discuss and manage their expectations and to ask them, ‘What do you see moving forward as the role of parents and partners?’ We then help parents to reach agreement on those ground rules, while keeping their kids’ wellbeing at the centre of their decision making,” says Joy.
If you are in the process of separation, and your family is experiencing ongoing conflict or challenges with child arrangements, we can provide a range of services to support the family at this time:
Liz Gellel | Marketing Coordinator – Digital Lead
Joy Strahle | Team Leader Dispute Resolution Services and Family Counsellor